


Three Is a Crowd (Levi x Reader / Erwin x Reader)

by a_miscalculation



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Blood and Violence, Dialogue, Dialogue Heavy, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/M, Female Hange Zoë, Female Protagonist, Funny, Hange Zoë Being Hange Zoë, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Inner Dialogue, Jealous Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Jealousy, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Female Character, Plot, Possessive Levi Ackerman, Protective Erwin Smith, Reader-Insert, Romance, Sexual Content, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Some Humor, Swearing, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:20:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29485137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_miscalculation/pseuds/a_miscalculation
Summary: After the attack on Shiganshina, Y/N decides to join the military, with the ultimate goal of joining the scouts and retaking Shiganshina. She finds herself in the 104th Cadet corps, becoming friends and developing deep relationships with the main cast. Taking notice of her dedication and consistently good performances in battle, squad leader Hange Zoe brings Y/N along to be her assistant, meeting the veteran scout members, as well as the ever famed Lieutenant Levi, and Commander Erwin.I'm not sure how many chapters it will be, but I plan to write a lot, so it will be a very slow burn. There will be eventual smut, but I will give a warning at the beginning of the chapter if you want to avoid it.Follows the main story of Attack on Titan, with occasional original characters. Lots of dialogue.Usually updates on Sunday nights.
Relationships: Erwin Smith & Reader, Erwin Smith/Reader, Erwin/Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi Ackerman & Reader
Comments: 14
Kudos: 50





	1. Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story, so hopefully, my writing will get better as I go on. Comments and constructive criticism are always welcome, but please try to stay civil about it. Also, if you like the story, feel free to let me know so I can tell what works and what doesn't! :D

**Year 845. The fall of Shiganshina.**

Fifty meters high, surrounding our district and protecting us from the titans beyond, the wall stood solidly as it does each and every day, keeping us safe and in relative peace.

“Do you ever wonder what’s beyond those walls?” Elijah asked, interrupting our family lunch.

“No, and I don’t care to.” I roll my eyes, looking over to our dad, who glances up with a smile, putting his newspaper down.

“Well, I care.” He says, entertaining my brother for whatever reason. “Why do you ask?”

Eli’s face seems to light up with excitement. “Armin said there’s more than just titans outside the walls.”

“Armin?” Mama asks.

“The blonde kid.” I remind her. Eli nods and continues.

“Yeah, he said there was so much more beyond the walls. A pool of water, further than the eye can see! Filled with so much salt that all the merchants in the world couldn’t collect it all!”

“Hm.. and where did he hear that from?” Papa asked.

“Books! He says there are-“

“Oh, so he’s a nerd,” I comment, interrupting my enthusiastic brother’s story of the day. “I’m sure he gets bullied for it too.”

“Y/n,” Mama says sternly, making me avert my gaze.

“Not everyone’s a jerk like you,” Eli grumbles, sticking his tongue out at me. I stick my tongue out back in response, which only I get in trouble for, for some reason.

“Y/n that’s enough,” Papa warns, sighing a little. “It’s my day off, can’t you two get along just once so we can have a family day together?”

“Sorry…” I mumble, looking down at my plate as I take in a mouthful, distracting myself from his silent judgment. I notice his expression soften from my peripheral before he clears his throat.

“Well, since you’re so curious about the outside, why don’t we go out today?” Papa asks, getting Eli’s attention. “The scouts are supposed to return later. We can follow your mom to the market and catch them at the gates.”

“Rhett…” Mama sighs. “You shouldn’t encourage him to see that. You’re just going to plant crazy ideas in his mind, like-“

“Yes! I wanna go!” My brother grins, standing up from his seat. “I’m gonna join the Scouts too!”

“Like that.” Mama sighs, shaking her head and letting out a defeated chuckle. Papa smiles back at her.

“He’ll be fine. He wants to go, so who are we to keep him from seeing them?” He pats my brother’s head. “Go get changed, and we’ll go in a moment.”

Eli nods eagerly, quickly finishing his lunch and running off into his room for a change of clothes. My parents laugh a little at his excitement, and I can’t help but join them.

“Why even bring him there? He’s gonna get his little heart crushed.” I say, looking at Papa.

“He’s determined. If that’s enough to deter him from the scouts, then it’s for the best.” He says, coming over to my side. “Besides, I’d prefer to keep your little brother alive, don’t you?”

I shrug, to which he only laughs, shaking his head.

“You act like you don’t care, but the day we brought him back from the hospital, you wouldn’t stop going on and on about… what did you say? ‘Cutest little brother in the world?’ Said something along the lines of ‘I’m gonna be the best sister ever! Thank you so much, Mama, Papa!’” my father laughs, teasing me as I feel my ears burning with embarrassment.

“I-I never said that!” I say, which only makes my dad laugh more.

“You sure did, princess. You were so cute back then.” He says, which I groan at.

“Don’t call me that, I’m not a little kid anymore…” I frown, looking over to my mom for help. She giggles and comes over, tapping my shoulder.

“Why don’t you go get changed too? We’ll go to the market after.” She smiles, giving me an excuse to leave before my dad tries to embarrass me with more childhood stories. I nod and quickly go to my room. Running past my brother, I give him a quick kick in the ass and laugh as he chases me back to my room. He’s cute sometimes, I guess.

“Y/n..!” I hear a knocking at my door as I put on the last of my outfit. “Are you done yet?” Elijah whines. “Dad says we’re gonna leave without you if you’re not out in the next five minutes!”

I go over and open the door, grinning down at my little brother. “He did not,” I say, pushing the back of his head lightly. “Come on, let’s go.”

He grumbles but obeys as I push him forward, making me laugh a little.

“Hah. You’ll make a good soldier indeed.” I comment, to which he lights up, continuing to walk forward.

Mama grabs Eli’s hand, and we go out to the market, making our way to the gate. As we walk down the streets of Shiganshina, I take notice of all the busy activity that makes this place our home. The local shopkeep bickering with a customer, each negotiating the price of the “freshly-caught” fish. Children dashing their way through the crowd, playing a game of tag that will ultimately end up with accusations of cheating. The smell of booze and sound of cackling as the Garrison members throw down their coins over a game of poker. It’s all soon drowned out as the chime of a church bell rings through the district.

“The scouts!” My brother exclaims as he runs towards the gates, dragging Mama along, with Papa and me following close behind. We soon see the crowd on each side of the street, making our way through to get a view as well. The front gate rumbles as it opens, and the sounds of horseshoes hitting pavement begin to draw near. A hush falls upon the crowd, followed by low murmurs that I can’t quite see why for. As we both struggle for a view behind the giants in front, I feel a pair of hands lift me up. Papa picks me up, letting me stand on a crate, as he then lifts my brother up as well, letting him sit on his shoulders. It is only then that we finally get a clear view, and I soon realize why it’s become so silent.

As the horses trot in, our eyes land on the blonde-haired soldier in the front of the group. With a stern face and despaired look, he seems to be the only one who came back unscathed. He looks deep in thought, as he faces down, ashamed to meet the people’s eyes. He is followed close behind by soldiers, who begin to show the real effects of battle. Each man and woman, worn and tired. Every soldier is bandaged, some more than others, and not a single shirt is spotted without a bloodstain, either from their own wounds or that of a dead comrade’s. Some are being carted in, many seeming to have lost their limbs in battle.

“T-That’s it..?” I say quietly, a frown pulling at my lips as my expression begins to match that of the soldiers’. “There were so many more when they left…”

“They all must’ve been eaten,” Papa says, sighing as he shakes his head. I look up at my brother, who’s sitting on Papa’s shoulders. His beaming smile had fallen, as his mouth opened slightly in shock. Eyes were darting back and forth, looking at each soldier and realizing the reality of the scouts. I reached up to hold his hand, to which he promptly took, squeezing it hard. The look of a child’s first betrayal… I looked away, focusing back on the scouts as I could no longer handle his crushed expression. There was a commotion a little further up, and I could just about make out the conversation.

“…-son’s death helped humanity fight back, didn’t it?!” Cried a woman on her knees, cradling a bandaged object.

“Of course!” A soldier shouted, dropping to his knees. There was a silence, or so it seemed, as the soldier said something quietly, before soon shouting, “-never learn a thing! It’s my fault… my own incompetence killed our men! And we still don’t even know what they are!”

There was a chill in the air as the crowd went silent, shocked by the soldier’s declaration. As much as we all knew it to be true, it was the first time they’ve admitted it aloud. A few more moments passed, each second lasting an eternity, before hushed whispers circulated, soon turning into loud remarks, and finally degrading shouts as the people let their true feelings towards the scouts be heard.

“Come now… it’s time to go.” Mama said, taking my hand and Papa’s. She led us away from the commotion, starting to go towards home as we walked in silence. I looked up, checking on my brother, but he stayed on Papa’s shoulders, holding on tight as a look of defeat washed over his face.

“Eli…” I said quietly, about to try and comfort him, when the ground begins to shake. The neighborhood dogs began barking, and birds flew overhead past us — a blood-curdling scream. We turned around quickly, looking back at the wall. Smoke.

A huge puff of smoke appeared from behind our walls, blackening the clear sky. We watched as a hand reached out from behind the wall, grabbing hold of the top of it. A titan? It seemed like time froze, as the screams I could hear near the walls blurred out; I watched as a massive head peered over the walls. This… there was no mistaking it. It was most definitely a titan.

“...-n, Y/n..!” I was snapped back into reality as Papa shouted my name, grabbing my hand.

“Let’s go!” he shouted, pushing Mama and me in front of him, shielding us from the sight. My legs began to run on their own, but I couldn’t help but look back. Papa looked terrified… his brows furrowed as he continued pushing us forward, holding onto my brother tightly in his arms. I looked forward once again, continuing to run as the reality of the situation began to set in. We were so far from the inner gate… there’s no way we could make it. Suddenly, I heard the roar of the monster, creating a small earthquake as it rang through the district. I made the mistake of looking back, and felt my heart drop to my stomach as the walls collapsed into the district. The rubble flew into the air, large boulders of stone crushing our homes and buildings. The whooshing of wind cut through the air as I looked up. The rubble… the gigantic boulders flew over our heads.

“Y/n..!” Mama cried, grabbing my attention again. “Don’t stop, just keep running! To the ferries!”

I nodded, continuing to run forward, trusting my family was close behind. It felt like an eternity… I couldn’t stop, my legs ached, but I kept running. I began to feel cold. The sunlight had left, a shadow now closing in from above. I looked up.

Stone.

“Y/n!!” I heard Papa cry. A weight from behind pushed me forward, just barely into the sunlight. I turned back quickly, falling to the ground with my brother thrown onto me.

“Mama! Papa!” I cried out, seeing the boulder falling down. Papa’s hand reached out, and I knew he was the one to throw my brother onto me, bringing us just out of the boulder’s shadow. I could see the fear in my parents’ eyes. Anguish, despair, defeat. They had accepted their fate.

‘Save him.’ Papa mouthed. I had no time to respond as the boulder finally landed, crushing my parents under it.

“AHHHHHH!!!!!”

The impact of the boulder shook the ground, lifting me off the ground for a moment. I screamed, scrambling to my feet with my brother in my arms. Save him… save him… there was no more time to cry. The least I needed to do was save my brother. I could hear him bawling as he held onto me, looking up as I began to run again.

“M-Mama… Papa…” He sobbed, looking at me. I said nothing, continuing to look straight ahead. Tears streamed down my face as I continued to run, making my way through the broken streets. I was still so far away… is it even possible to make it on foot?

“Y/n!” My brother screamed, pointing up as I began feeling the same chill as before. I looked up… another boulder. It was smaller than before, but still large enough to crush me. Ah… is this how they felt? There was no way to completely avoid it. The only option was to save what I could. Without a second thought, I jumped forward, hoping to get out of the way. I tore Elijah from my hold, hearing his scream as I threw him forward as Papa did.

Save him.

I screamed as I felt the boulder make impact. While my jump had saved most of my body, my feet were still caught under it. I screamed and cried, the pain unbearable.

“Y/n!” Elijah called out, getting to his feet and about to run over to me.

“No!” I screamed. “I-I’m fine, you have to go! Keep running, I’ll just slow you down if you try to help!”

“B-But-!” Elijah cried, confused and afraid.

“Fuck, just go!!” I cried, looking up at him. “Run to the ferry, don’t stop for anything! Get on it, and I’ll meet you there, I promise!” I reassured him. “Please… you have to live. I’ll meet you there… okay?” I bit my lip, holding back tears as I tried to give him a look of confidence. He clearly wasn’t convinced.

“O-Okay…” He sobbed, seeming to hear the desperation in my voice. “Meet me there! You promised!” He shouted, turning his back on me as he began to run.

“I will!” I cry out, watching him run further and further until he’s no longer in sight. I smile a little. He always was good at taking instruction. I begin to groan, crying now as I can no longer ignore the pain in my legs. If they weren’t crushed already, the bones in my calves and feet must be broken. It would be impossible to get to the ferry. I rest my head on the ground, unable to move anyways. It begins to shake. Fuck... another boulder? No… it’s different. What sounds like stomps comes from behind. I feel a shadow from above, and with what little energy I have left, I lift my head up.

A giant hand.

I scream as it reaches down, grabbing me by the waist and lifting me out from under the boulder. I can’t feel my legs. I cry and scream as I finally get a close-up view of the monster before me. A titan, real and in the flesh. Its eyes were bulging, the size of my head, if not bigger. A disgustingly small body in proportion to its head, with skinny arms that held me high above its mouth. I sob, with no energy left to struggle. Staring down at my fate, I see the unsightly jaw filled with much too many teeth, wide open and drooling, ready to clamp down the moment it drops me. I close my eyes, letting out the last of my tears. This is how I die.

I’m sorry, Eli. I won’t be meeting you there. I can only hope that you made it. At least survive, so I can look our parents in the eyes at the pearly gates. I feel the grip around my waist let go, dropping me through the air to meet the titan’s mouth. I shut my eyes tight, bracing myself and hoping it will be quick and painless. I wait.

It never happens. Instead, an arm wraps around my waist tightly, and I feel the cool air flying in my face.

“Hey! Are you alright? Still alive?” A voice cries, and I hear the whizzing of steel wire. A loud thud comes from below, and I open my eyes, looking down. I’m… in the air? The titan that had grabbed me earlier was now lying face down below me, steam emitting its body and a long gash in the nape of its neck. I only get a glance of that for a moment, though, as the whizzing continues and I’m flying through the air. I look up a little. The blond soldier… He seems to say something, but the noise around me begins to muffle. I feel my body begin to shut down, starting to close my eyes. The last thing I see is his mouth saying something I can’t make out, before pitch blackness.


	2. Familiar Faces

* * *

_“Hey! Are you alright? Still alive?” A voice cries, and I hear the whizzing of steel wire. A loud thud comes from below, and I open my eyes, looking down. I’m… in the air? The titan that had grabbed me earlier was now lying face down below me, steam emitting its body and a long gash in the nape of its neck. I only get a glance of that for a moment, though, as the whizzing continues and I’m flying through the air. I look up a little. The blonde soldier… He seems to say something, but the noise around me begins to muffle. I feel my body begin to shut down, starting to close my eyes. The last thing I see is his mouth saying something I can’t make out, before pitch blackness._

* * *

As I begin to wake up, I hear screaming and shouting again, making my head ring. My vision starts to focus, and I look up. A ceiling?

"Where…" I begin to sit up but groan loudly, laying back down immediately.

"Ah, you're awake." A voice says. I look to my right and see a familiar face.

"Dr. Schmidt…" I say quietly, looking at him, and then my surroundings. "Where am I…"

"No need to be so formal, Nicholas is fine. Besides, don't talk so much. You'll waste your energy." He sighs. "We're in the Trost District. We arrived after the ferry left Shiganshina. Do you remember anything that happened?"

I shake my head, and he sighs again.

"Well, I can't say I know much either. I saw a scout bring you onto the ferry, saying you were injured, and then left. You're lucky I was there. If there was no other doctor on the ferry to help treat your legs, you'd've probably bled to death."

I frown a little and nod. "Thank you…" I say quietly, before grabbing his arm. "I-Is Eli here?"

"I… don't know. There's a lot of people here. I can help try to look for him later, but there's a good chance he's not. A lot of people were left behind…"

I frown and nod, looking away and letting go of his arm.

"I'm sorry…" He says.

"I understand." There's a silence between the two of us, as the only sounds I hear are the background noise of people chatting and walking around. A cough from the doctor breaks the silence.

"A-Ahem. Well, in the meantime, try not to move so much. I'll come to check up on you each day to change your bandages, so just rest and let your legs heal." He smiles at me, and I nod, thanking him once more before he leaves.

For the next six months, I do just that. While I recovered, the food shortage became worse, and I began losing an unhealthy amount of weight. The people around me began losing their sanity as the hunger drove them mad. I suppose it was then that the royal government finally decided to take matters into their own hands. They issued a military campaign, taking over 250k men and women to battle in an effort to take back Wall Maria. I was lucky enough to not be fully recovered yet, excusing me from being drafted. Of the over 250k people, less than 200 make it back.

"Hey." I hear footsteps approaching, and soon the empty seat beside me is taken. "You're looking better."

It's Nicholas. I smile a little and nod, swinging my leg.

"Yeah, it's healed a lot, thanks to you. I can even walk again… well, wobble. But I should be able to walk again soon." I say, looking over at him. He smiles back.

"That's good to hear. You look skinny, though… have you not been eating?" He asks, grabbing my wrist gently. "I can practically see the bone…"

"Well, there isn't much to eat. It's a miracle I'm even still alive. You must be living the cushy life, though." I chuckle a little. "The nobles must pay you well, being a doctor and all."

He sighs and sits back in the chair.

"I'd hardly call myself a full-fledged doctor. I was just apprenticing under your dad… at my skill level, I just make enough to get by." He says, looking over. "But I am worried about your health."

"It's fine." I wave him off. "Unfortunate as it is, since so many people didn't make it back from Wall Maria, the food shortage should improve. Once the rations get larger, I'll be back to normal." I reassure him. He nods, and there's silence again.

"...did you find him yet?" I ask, ignorantly hopeful to hear some good news. Instead, I am just greeted with a sigh.

"I'm sorry…" Nicholas says. "It's been six months already… if he were here, I would've found him by now. I think… it's time to give up."

Of course. Subconsciously, I knew it was a given that Eli most likely fell victim to the titans, but it still hurt to think about. I only had that one task, but even failed at that — what a poor excuse of a sister. As if reading my mind, I felt Nicholas grab my hand.

"If it's any consolation, I'm sure he knew you tried your best." He says. "You did well."

I nod but continue looking down, squeezing his hand. There is silence once more, but it's more comforting than before. It's nice to imagine that Eli knew. Still, it doesn't make up for the fact that I'm here when it should've been him. Before long, Nicholas gets up, letting go of my hand.

"You've been in here too long." He says. "You should go into town sometime, socialize again. Let me know if you want to, I'll help you get around."

"Thank you, Nicholas. I'll keep your offer in mind."

He smiles and nods, saying his goodbyes and leaving me alone once more. The sun shines brightly through the window, warming the side of my face. I look out the glass, seeing the bustling streets down below. It's eerie how similar the feeling is to Shiganshina. People talking, walking, laughing without a care in the world. How long until the same thing happens to this district? From the corner of the window, I see three familiar little heads.

"That's…" I quickly get up, grabbing the crutches Nicholas got for me, and make my way down the building. When I finally reach the bottom, I spot the three staring up at a bulletin board.

"Armin?" I ask, going over. The blonde boy turns around upon hearing his name and smiles brightly when he sees me.

"Oh! Elijah's sister… Y/N, right?" He comes over, helping me walk over to the bulletin board where Mikasa and Eren are. I smile back and nod.

"Yes. It's nice to see you again. You all made it out of Shiganshina?"

"We did," Eren says. "What happened to your legs?"

"Eren." Mikasa gives him a look. I laugh a little.

"It's alright, Mikasa." I smile. "I was injured in Shiganshina. Thankfully, a scout member saw me and helped me escape."

"A scout!" Eren's face lit up. My heart stung a little… Eli used to have the same expression. "Of course it was a scout, I'm going to become one too, Y/N. Then I'll take back Shiganshina, and we can all go home."

I smile, ruffling his hair. "I don't doubt it."

"Is Eli with you?" Armin asks. "We haven't seen him at all since arriving here. But he must've been helping you with your legs, right?"

"Ah… actually, I've been inside all this time. I was hoping, if anything, since you three are friends with him and have been around Trost, you might've seen him." I look down. "But I guess that's not the case…"

I see their faces fall slightly as they realize what that means. I take a deep breath, closing my eyes.

"I-It's alright, guys," I reassure them, smiling as best I can. "Everybody lost something that day… I'm just grateful that I made it out of there alive. And you three are still here. It's nice to see some familiar faces."

They nod, and Eren hugs around my waist. "It's good to see you too. We'll visit you more from now on since we know you're here now. Do you live nearby?"

I hug back, a little tighter than necessary.

"Yes, I'm staying in one of the government-sanctioned shelters for now. "I say, pointing to the building across the street. "If you want to come to visit, I'm in room 204."

Eren nods and helps me with my crutches, walking me back to the building along with Armin and Mikasa.

"We'll visit you lots then." He says, his voice as energetic as ever.

"I can't wait," I respond, smiling down at them. I wave them goodbye as they take off, and make my way back to my little cramped room. Closing the door behind me, I stumble my way to bed, flopping onto it. I grab the rough pillow, burying my face in it and beginning to weep.

Why… those three made it, and they were the same age. So why couldn't Eli? It wasn't fair. He was as every bit smart as Armin, brave as Mikasa, determined as Eren. 

I screamed at the top of my lungs, soaking the pillow with my tears and cursing into it until my throat grew sore. I suppose somewhere in the back of my head, I thought it could've been possible that Nicholas had just missed Elijah, not recognizing him. He didn't know Eli's face that well, after all. Only spoke to him in passing when meeting up with my father. But if those three hadn't seen him either, there were no more excuses. The fact of the matter is, they had made it, and Eli didn't. It was high time to accept: Eli was dead.

Nicholas came to check on my recovery again the next day. I smile upon his arrival and chat while he examines my legs. 

“I took your advice yesterday.” I start, which makes him look over. 

“Did you, now? I don’t recall giving you advice.” 

“The thing about going into town.” I remind him, and he smiles. “I saw some friends of my brother, thought I’d say hi.” 

“Hm.” 

“They’re good kids. They used to come over a lot, so I kind of see them as like my siblings too.” I smile, reminiscing all the times Elijah brought those three back to our house. 

“Yeah? Well, that’s good. At least you know a few more people now.” He says, gently lifting my leg and helping me change my bandages. 

“Yeah,” I smile. “Eren especially came over a lot, followed by Mikasa. Eli would bring him over after he got in a fight, asking my dad to help with his scuffs.” I laugh a little, and Nicholas laughs along.

“Wasn’t his dad a doctor too?” He asks, tilting his head. 

“Yeah, Dr. Yeager. He was pretty famous around our parts. I think it was just easier to bring him to my dad though, since he mainly worked from home.” I lean back against the wall, sighing softly as he tightens the bandages, finishing up.

“I… asked them about Eli.” 

“Hm. And what did they say?” 

“That you’re probably right… they hadn’t seen him either. He’s most likely dead…” 

Nicholas nods, gently taking my hand and giving it a squeeze. 

“Well, I’m sorry about that.” He says.

“It’s fine, I was only fooling myself anyways.” I sigh, shaking my head. “You were right, to begin with. After six months and no word of him, I should’ve accepted it long ago.” 

“It’s not your fault, it’s hard to let go of a loved one, after all.” He says, standing up. He holds out his hand, and I look up at him with confusion. “The good news is though, your legs are looking a lot better. Come on, I’ll take you around town. Get your mind off of this.” He smiles. 

“Don’t you have work?” I ask, taking his hand as he helps me up.

“I’ve got a day off, so why not spend it hanging out with you?” 

“You must not have many friends then.” I scoff, and he feigns hurt, holding his hand to his chest. I laugh a little as we walk out of the building. “Relax, I’m only kidding. It’s very kind of you to spend your day off with me, thank you.”

“No worries. Now, where to first?” 

I look around, scanning the busy streets. There’s no place, in particular, I wanted to visit. I barely knew the layout of Trost after all. Looking straight ahead, my eyes landed on the bulletin board I spotted the three at yesterday. 

“There.” I point. He raises a brow at me, looking over to the board. “They were staring at something there yesterday,” I explain. “I want to see what it is.” 

He nods and walks me over to the bulletin board, looking at all the flyers that are pinned up once we get there. 

“Military recruitment… I guess they were planning to join the military.” He says, looking over at me. I laugh a little, shaking my head. 

“Should’ve known. Eren did say he was going to become a scout, after all.” 

“He’d be throwing away his life. Look at Shiganshina. We barely made it out alive, even when the scouts were already in the district. If they can’t even defend us when a real titan attack occurs, what’s the point?”

I couldn’t argue with him there. It’s true that a majority of citizens didn’t make it, and even within the scouts, many don’t make it back after a scouting expedition. There’s a higher chance of dying by becoming a scout than you ever would have just by being a regular citizen. Anyone stupid enough to willingly throw themselves into the danger beyond the walls is just asking for death. Still… it was thanks to a scout that I could even be here, judging them. 

I turn away from the board, tugging at Nicholas’ sleeve. “Let’s go somewhere else. You know this place better than I do. Give me a tour.” I say, smiling a little. He returns the smile and nods, taking me around town throughout the day. After spending so long confined in my room, it was freeing to ‘walk’ around again, allowing myself to enjoy the delights of Trost for the first time since arriving here. By the late evening, he had taken me to a restaurant. Nothing too fancy, but much more than I had had in the last six months.

“Order whatever you want, my treat.” He smiles, going through the menu. I let out a small huff from my nose, glancing up at him and then back at the menu. He seems to notice this and chuckles. 

“What’s with that reaction?” He asks. 

“Nothing. I was just surprised, is all.” 

“Hey, I’m not broke alright? I can afford this, I swear.”

“I thought you said you only made enough to get by.” 

“Eh.. more or less.” He says, scrunching his nose and giving a half-smile. “It’s been a few months, after all, I’ve built more of a reputation now.” 

I laugh and whistle a little. 

“Well look at you go. Guess I should be calling you Dr. Schimdt now. I hope you’re not planning on charging me for all your services after my legs are better.” 

He laughs and shakes his head. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it. Consider my services a thank-you.” 

“What for?” 

“Well, it’s more of a debt I’m repaying towards your father.” He sighs, running a hand through his hair and leaning back in his chair. A debt? “But, also for keeping me sane while coming to Trost. I lost a lot of people since fleeing Shiganshina too… you’re one of my only friends here.” He looks up, his lips curved in a small smile. 

“That’s… sweet. But uh… you’re not…” I lean back a little, tilting my head as an awkward smile forms on my face. 

“Hm? Oh! Oh no, not at all.” He laughs, sitting up straight again. “Don’t worry, I see you as like a little sister. Besides, you’re much too young for me anyway.” He snorts. “Don’t get too cocky. What are you, like 16?” 

“Almost 17!” I retort, and he laughs more. I feel my ears begin to burn with embarrassment, a slight heat rising in my cheeks. “I’m not _that_ young, you’re just old.” 

“Hey, I’m 22, that is not old!” He says, a hint of seriousness in his tone. I can’t help but laugh. He soon joins me in my laughter and calls the waiter over, ordering for us. As we eat and chat through the night, I notice him seem to relax more, staring at me for a bit longer than usual. 

“...what? Is there something on my face?” I ask. 

“Nothing.” He shakes his head. “It’s just nice to see you laughing and talking like this again. I feel like I haven’t seen you this happy since Shiganshina.”

“Well… I’ve been grieving, so of course I wasn’t as happy.” I sigh, resting my head in my hand. “I think I’ve finally accepted it though… I just, don’t want to forget him. Because once I stop grieving… I don’t know. It just doesn’t feel fair for me to just keep living my life as if nothing happened.”

“I understand. But, think of it this way. You’re living for the both of you now.” He says, making me look up at him. “Whether you continue grieving or not, he’s not going to come back. Don’t let his death be in vain, live your life fully, for him.”

I sigh and lean back, closing my eyes. “I suppose…” 

He shakes his head and rummages through his coat pocket, pulling out a notepad and pen. 

“Alright, we’re gonna stop your sulking right now. You just don’t want to forget him, right?” He clicks the pen, putting it to paper and looking up at me. “Remind me what he looks like.” 

I am stunned for a moment, staring at him and wondering what he’s up to. But as he stares back in silence, waiting for my answer, I sigh and begin to describe Eli’s face. As I talk about him, I feel my lips curving up into a smile. Within a few minutes, Nicholas stops writing on the notepad, ripping the piece of paper out and handing it to me. It’s a picture of Eli. A little rough, but there’s no doubt that it looks like him. 

“I... “Looking up, I see him smiling at me. 

“That’s good enough right?” He says, tucking his notepad and pen back in his pocket. “Now you won’t have to worry about forgetting him, so just live your life without guilt.” 

“Thank you…” I sniffle a little, folding the drawing carefully and placing it in my pocket. 

We finish dinner, and he walks me back to the shelter. The sun has set by now, the streets only dimly lit with some low-burning candles in the nearby shops. The city’s hustle and bustle have died down, and the calm wind breezes by, making me shiver a little. 

“So… what are your plans now?” Nicholas asks. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Well, they’re only going to let you continue to live in that shelter until the of the year, right? You’ll need to get a job soon, that, or join the military.” 

“Didn’t you just tell me to live my life? I’ll be damned if I ever go into the military. That’s the fastest track to an early death.” 

“Not if you join the Military Police. You could work in the capital, where it’s safe.” He looks down at me. “Like me.” 

“Oh! That’s right, you work with a lot of high-society members now, don’t you?” I look back at him, smiling a little. “Well let’s skip the military all together then. Hook me up with a job for some noble!” I laugh a little, nudging his arm. He chuckles and shakes his head. 

“It’s harder than you think, but I’ll see what I can do.” 

We finally arrive back at the shelter, and the moon is entirely out by now, shining a soft light into my room. I feel him grab my arm, guiding me to bed in the dark room before heading to the door, reassuring me that he’ll be back tomorrow. 

“Thank you Nicholas, you’re a great friend.” 

“Damn right I am.” The moonlight is just bright enough for me to catch his smirk, and I can only roll my eyes.

“Yeah yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

He smiles and nods, waving to me as he heads out. “Have a good night, Y/N.” He closes the door, and once more, I’m alone. Taking out the paper from my pocket, I smile and unfold it, staring at the drawing of Eli. 

“Good night…”


	3. The 104th Cadets

* * *

_We finally arrive back at the shelter, and the moon is entirely out by now, shining a soft light into my room. I feel him grab my arm, guiding me to bed in the dark room before heading to the door, reassuring me that he’ll be back tomorrow._

_“Thank you Nicholas, you’re a great friend.”_

_“Damn right I am.” The moonlight is just bright enough for me to catch his smirk, and I can only roll my eyes._

_“Yeah yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow.”_

_He smiles and nods, waving to me as he heads out. “Have a good night, Y/N.” He closes the door, and once more, I’m alone. Taking out the paper from my pocket, I smile a little, unfolding it and staring at the drawing of Eli._

_“Good night…”_

* * *

Lined up in rows of 20, we stood with our feet apart, hands held behind our backs. I could hear the instructor telling off a recruit at the end of my row, crushing the boy’s spirit with minimal words and a booming voice. Poor thing. This has been going on for about half an hour now. Tradition, apparently. A rite of passage to wipe us into blank slates, mold us into perfect little soldiers to send off to our deaths. Our deaths… fuck. What was I thinking, running off like that? I could’ve left a note for Nicholas, let him know where I went at least. No… that wouldn’t have worked. There was a much higher probability that Lord Mayer would’ve found it long before Nicholas had the chance. Maybe I could see him after I graduate out of the cadets. But he’d probably still be working in the capital, and that’s the last place I want to be. A shout interrupts my thoughts, and I find myself face to face with Instructor Shadis. When did he make his way over to me?

“Are you ignoring me, cadet?!” He yells, more of a statement than a question.

“No sir!” I quickly salute, clicking my heels next to each other as I bring my right hand over my heart, the other clenched behind my back.

“What’s your name maggot?!”

“Y/N L/N, from Shiganshina, sir!”

“And what do you hope to gain by being here, Cadet L/N?”

“To join the scouts, sir! I want to help retake my district of Shiganshina!” I say. Well, that was a half-truth. I do want to go home, to find anything that might still be salvageable. But the main reason has nothing to do with nostalgia. No, it was either this or the capital.

“A scout huh? With you spacing out like that, you’ll be good for nothing but titan fodder! Row 4, about-face!”

We quickly turn around and watch as he begins the same process to Row 5. There are certain people he skips over, one of them being… Eren. He hasn’t changed much, I could tell it was him immediately, with those same fiery eyes, ready for attack. Where there’s Eren, there’s Mikasa, and sure enough, I find her in the same row, only a few heads down from him. She’s grown as well, and has that same red scarf wrapped snugly around her neck. Their row soon turns around, and my eyes continue following Instructor Shadis. He headbutts one of the cadets, lifts another one up from the ground by the top of his head. But his wrath is fully unveiled when he spots a girl, a few rows back. She seems to be eating something. He heads directly for her, and I hear the two exchange a few shouts. She holds out a hand, offering something to the instructor. A potato. The exchange is ended with a sheepish smile from the girl, as we hear Shadis’ punishment for her echo through the training ground.

“Laps till you drop dead!”

Idiot.

I meet up with Eren and his little gang after that rough ‘welcoming’ ceremony. It takes a moment, and I watch as the cogs turn in Eren’s head as he stares at me, until his face lights up.

“Y/N!” He runs over, the other two following close behind. “It’s been like a year since we’ve seen you!”

I smile and nod, ruffling his hair.

“Yeah, and you’ve grown quite a bit since then. Might even be taller than me in another two or three years.”

“You’ve changed too.” Armin comments, “No more crutches. And even cut your hair. We almost didn’t recognize you.”

Mikasa nods in agreement.

“What happened? You just left one day… we came to visit you but you weren’t at that shelter anymore.” She says.

I smile softly. What good kids.

“I see… I’m sorry, I should’ve let you guys know beforehand. Official business in the capital. Adult stuff, you’ll understand when you’re older.” I grin, pinching Eren’s cheek lightly. He groans at that and tries to fight my hand off, which only makes me laugh. “But, I’m here now. And I’ll be here to stick with you guys until we graduate.” I smile.

Evening soon approaches, and the mess hall is bustling with activity. The other recruits have gathered around our table, specifically around Eren, as they heard we were from Shiganshina. As Eren entertains them with stories of the titans, I take a quick look around. 12-year-olds, maybe a 14 or 15-year-old sprinkled here and there, but all children nonetheless. It doesn’t look like I’ll be making friends close to my age any time soon. They become louder as they discuss, and while it’s cute seeing their excitement at first, their energy level soon makes me feel like I’ve aged ten years. Was this how Nicholas felt in his friendship with me? I quietly leave the table, walking out to get some peace, and fresh air.

It’s nice. The loud chattering in the mess hall has drowned out, becoming soft background noise as the night’s wind breezes by. I lean against the railing of the steps, staring up at the sky full of stars. I used to wish upon those stars. Silly things, like good grades in school, new clothes, a boyfriend. If only I had the gift of foresight. I would’ve wished for my family’s safety instead, for me to never have had to end up here, not that wishing ever worked anyway. Yet, I find myself wishing, even now. There’s no way to change the past, that much I know, but with what I can do… I wish I’ll be able to protect those kids. They’re not family, and not Eli’s replacement of any sort, but they’re all I have left. Those three… they’re special.

My brief moment of peace is interrupted, as a loud thud from the side of the building grabs my attention. It’s probably only some night critter that’s collided into the wall, but my curiosity gets the better of me, going over to check it out anyway. What I see though is no animal, instead, a girl lying face down on the ground. The potato girl. Before I can go over to help, she lunges up, attacking a little blonde girl and snatching something from her hands. That little thief..!

“Hey!” I run over, about to tell her off, but she’s already munching down on the bread she swiped.

“What are you doing?” I hear a voice chime in. A girl with short brown hair is hovering above the blonde, staring down at her with beady fox eyes.

“Me?” The blonde girl nervously looks back and forth between the two of us, as if she were a kid caught sneaking food for a stray by her parents. “This girl’s been running all day, so…” So I guess the potato girl wasn’t a thief.

“You’re trying to do a ‘good deed’, aren’t you?” the brown-haired girl says, in somewhat of an accusing tone. The question is nothing out of the ordinary, if not delivered in such a curt way, but the blonde seems to be shaken by it. Her eyebrows have furrowed, and she looks up at us helplessly, as if looking for the answer in us somehow.

“I... I wanted to do this, because I want to be thought of as helpful… right?” she asks, rather frantically.

“Huh? Hell if I know!” The brown-haired girl responds. She opens her mouth to say something else, but a snore cuts in.

“Seems like the idiot’s passed out,” I say, looking down at the peacefully sleeping potato girl.

“Well, I suppose it can’t be helped.” The brown-haired girl leans down, and I think she’s about to help the sleeping recruit up when she looks over at me. “What are you waiting for? Turn around and let her on your back.”

“Huh?” I raise a brow, staring at her in disbelief.

“You’re the oldest, aren’t you? Act like it.” She picks the girl up, then hands her over to me. I scoff at her rudeness. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t be taking orders from some kid like her, but I’m not heartless enough to leave the sleeping girl lying on the ground either. Reluctantly, I let her help the girl onto my back, and we begin to make our way back to the girls’ barracks.

“You really shouldn’t be addressing your elders in such a disrespectful way. What’s your name, anyway?”

“Ymir. Not that it’s any of your business.” The brown-haired girl says. “And if you wanted to be respected, then you should do something worth respecting.” She smirks. Great, not only is she rude, she’s got a smart mouth too.

“I’m Krista!” The blonde-haired girl says, walking in between the two of us, attempting to diffuse the tension. “What about you?”

“Y/N.”

“Why’d you join the military so late, Y/N?” Ymir asks. “One look and we can all tell that you’re definitely the oldest one here. What, were you too chicken to join the first time around?”

“What a rude kid you are, huh?” I laugh dryly at her. “I have my reasons, not that it’s any of your business,” I say in that same condescending tone she had.

I hear her mumble something under her breath, but choose to ignore it as we arrive back at the barracks. Finding an empty bed, I place the potato girl down, taking her boots off and tucking her into bed. I hear a small giggle and turn around to see Krista.

“Oh, sorry, I wasn’t laughing at you or anything.” She smiles sweetly. “I just think it’s nice that you’re taking such good care of her. Do you know the girl?”

“No. Do you?”

She shakes her head.

“She just reminds me of someone.” I smile slightly, looking over at the sleeping girl’s face. “I suppose I have a soft spot for idiots. Too used to taking care of em’.”

She laughs at my comment, and I smile back at her. She seems a little too nice for the military, but it’s better than being rude.

“Well, it was nice to meet you today, Y/N. Let’s be friends, okay?”

“Sure.” I smile and pat her head gently, sending her off to bed. I take the bunk above potato girl’s and slide under the covers, rustling through my pocket. Taking out a piece of neatly folded paper, I place it beside my pillow, unfolding it.

“Looks like the military might not be so bad, Eli.” My lips tug into a small smile as I stare at the drawing of him, before laying down to get some shut-eye for the night.

The next few days, we started to train with the ODM gear. All we had to do was hang from it and swing around a bit, which should be simple enough for any idiot to figure out. Speaking of idiots, I learned the name of the one from that first night, along with her entourage. Sasha, Connie, Jean, Marco. I wouldn’t call them the brightest kids I’ve known, but it doesn’t take much brains to handle the ODM gear. I’ll admit, they were much better than me in that area. They had a certain air around them - natural soldiers.

“Y/N, ” Sasha says, coming over with her group of friends. “I heard from Krista that you carried me back to bed the other night, thank you.” She smiles.

“Sure. You owe me one now though. How’s about helping me with the ODM gear?”

“H-Huh? But you did pretty well on your test too…”

“ I guess.” I shrug. “But it’s obvious that there are certain people here who are much more adept to the gear than others. If I even want a chance at getting in the top 10 by our graduation, I’ll need to become one of the best.”

“Hm… well, I wouldn’t mind helping, but I’m more of a hunter… I’m not that great at using the gear yet either…”

“If you want to learn how to use the gear, then you should be coming to me!” Jean interrupted, “Did you see how well I was gliding in the trees? I’m a pro at it already,” he grinned, looking down at me with a ridiculously cocky smile.

“Psh, as if. I’m the prodigy here.” Connie said, puffing his chest as he looked up at us. I couldn’t help but laugh a little, what with his short stature but proud stance.

“That’s enough guys…” Marco said, stepping in between them and looking up at me with a smile. He seems to be the calmest of this bunch, someone I could maybe actually get along with as friends. “If you want help from someone who’s good with the ODM gear, why don’t you try my friend Reiner? He’s pretty willing to help others.”

“What’s wrong with me?!” Jean said.

“You’re obviously too hotheaded to teach anyone,” Connie said, earning a laugh from Sasha and only irritating Jean more.

“Come on, I’ll take you to him.” Marco offers, ignoring the two and leading me away from the bantering pair as they begin to get physical. I nod and follow him, looking over.

“So… Marco, was it? How’d you get roped in with that group? You definitely don’t seem as… mindless, as those three.”

“If you’re insinuating that I think my actions through a bit more, then I’ll take it as a compliment.” He laughs lightly. “Jean and I have the same goal of joining the MP. I guess we just met with Connie and Sasha later on and got along. They’re a little foolish sometimes, but they have their own strengths too.”

“You like to find the good in people, don’t you?”

He smiles. “Well, sure. It’s important to focus on people’s strengths if you want them to utilize their full potential. Teamwork is essential after all, if we want to be good soldiers, wouldn’t you say?”

“Yes…” I smile back and nod. “You’ll make a good leader someday, Marco.” My comment seems to catch him off guard, as he stumbles back a bit, his cheeks starting to redden.

“O-Oh, I’m not really leader-type material..!” He waves his hands in front of him, completely denying the compliment. “I just get along with people, I don’t really think that makes me much of a leader.” He sheepishly rubs the nape of his neck, giving an awkward smile. “If anything, Reiner’s a great leader. You’ll understand when you meet him.”

I nod and continue following him. I’m not sure why he reacted so strongly to such a small compliment, but it convinces me more that he’ll be a good leader. Attentive to his teammates, willing to help, and humble, it’s admirable, to say the least. We arrive at the sparring grounds, where a few groups are hanging out, including his friend Reiner.  
“Reiner!” Marco waves, getting the attention of a bulky blond. We go over to him and his group, and Marco introduces us.

“Y/N, this is Reiner. And that’s Bertholdt and Annie.” Marco says.

“Nice to meet you.” Reiner nods, holding out a hand and looking down at me.

“Likewise.” I take his hand, and he gives me a firm shake. Geez, what do they feed these kids? His grip is strong, and it feels like he could snap my wrist if he only applied a bit more pressure. That’s not even taking his size into account. He’s a fucking titan, towering at nearly 6 feet at least, and built like a damn bodybuilder.

“Y/N was hoping for some help with her ODM gear,” Marco says. “You helped Eren out too, right? Think you could take on another student?”

“Well, I don’t see why not. But it’s not like I’m some expert with the gear,” says Reiner. “What did you want help with?”

“Everything,” I respond. “I want to be able to move as quickly and precisely as you. I have the basics down, but I’m not very flexible with the gear. I saw you during your test though, and you moved effortlessly. I want to be able to do the same.”

He nods and looks over at his other friends. “Alright, I don’t have many tips, but we can do a practice run and see what you can change. Bertholdt, Annie, care to join?”

“Sure, it can be good for training,” Bertholdt says. “Annie?”

Annie looks over, staring at Reiner for a second, before scoffing. “Trying to be some ‘model soldier’ huh?” She gives him a look of disdain before turning around, leaving without so much as another word.

“I guess that’s a no,” Marco chuckles. “Come on, let’s start then, before it gets dark.”

We make our way to the forest and begin with training immediately. It doesn’t take long before I’m already receiving a barrage of comments from both Reiner and Bertholdt on how I was using the gear wrong.

“You’re using too much gas, slow down and control your movements,” said Reiner.

“Y/N, you’re reaching too high, plant your anchor on more stable parts of the trees. You shouldn’t loop it around the branches or it’ll be hard to remove,” said Bertholdt.

“Plant your anchor further away. The momentum of traveling a longer distance will make you move faster.”

At some point, even Marco began pitching in his own two cents. It shouldn’t have bothered me, I was the one who asked for their help in the first place, but hearing nothing but criticisms for the better part of an hour really does get annoying. Against my better judgment, I planted my anchor a little too far, reeling in fast to get away from them for just a second. Using up an extra bit of gas, I manage to surpass them, hearing their voices fade out and be replaced by the soft whistling of the wind. It’s calm. I’m able to cut through the air at a steady pace, and the serene silence of the forest reminds me of the peace I felt on the day that soldier saved me. Now that I think of it, this feels about the same as when that soldier was using his ODM gear. Steady, controlled, like I’m flying. It’s only for a moment though, as the bursts of air from my turbine suddenly stop, and I begin to fall.

“Shit!” I fumble around with my gear, trying to replace the canister as quickly as I can. The thought of crashing into the ground doesn’t help me focus any better, as I nearly drop my extra canister. It’s no use though, at the rate I’m falling, I know I can’t work fast enough to replace it. Shutting my eyes tight, I curl up and place my hand over the back of my head and neck, hoping to protect them if nothing else, and brace for impact.

“Y/N!” I hear Reiner shout, and within moments I’m grabbed out of the air, linking my arm with his and pulling me to him. “Hey, be careful! Bertholdt, come give me a hand.” He says, and soon Bertholdt is by my other side, each of them holding onto me by my arms. Ah… saved again. Just like in Shiganshina. We land on a nearby tree branch, and they set me down.

“Are you alright, Y/N? You could’ve died from a fall at that height,” Reiner sighs, “this is why I told you to be mindful of your gas use.”

“Sorry…”

He shakes his head and looks at me. “No, it’s fine, but you should be more careful… if you’re about to fall, rather than changing your canister mid-air, you should just release your anchor and place a new one closer to you.”

While he lectures me on how I could be using my gear better, I start to understand why Marco calls him a good leader. He’s not letting me off easy for being so reckless, but I can tell it’s coming from a place of passion. He’s got a kind heart, that much is apparent, and was probably genuinely worried I could’ve gotten hurt. Respectable. I smile and reach up, having to stretch a little to place my hand on his head, which stops him mid-sentence.

“Alright, I got it. Thank you,” I say with a smile as I pat his head. Maybe it’s because of the sunset, but his cheeks seem to redden and he takes a step back, shifting his eyes away from mine.

“R-Right… no problem.” He says, scratching the back of his head and looking away. He mumbles something else, but Bertholdt grabs my attention, placing his hand on my shoulder.

“Don’t worry Y/N, mistakes happen. You’ll get better with practice.” He smiles. “Come on, the sun is setting already. Change your canister and let’s head back.”

I nod and he takes off first, and Reiner hastily follows. Marco is nice enough to wait for me and helps keep me stable as I change the air canisters.

“All set?” He asks.

“Good to go,” I say. He smiles and nods, jumping off the branch after me, and we make our way back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, another chapter down! I originally wanted to post this on Saturday, but I ended up scrapping a lot of it and rewriting :") I have a better idea of the timeline now though. Levi and Erwin will probably make their first appearance in chapter 5 or 6 if anyone's curious. Let me know if you have any thoughts on the chapter or work so far! I will probably be updating on Sunday nights from now on.


	4. Friends

* * *

_“Are you alright, Y/N? You could’ve died from a fall at that height,” Reiner sighs, “this is why I told you to be mindful of your gas use.”_

_“Sorry…”_

_He shakes his head and looks at me. “No, it’s fine, but you should be more careful… if you’re about to fall, rather than changing your canister mid-air, you should just release your anchor and place a new one closer to you.”_

_While he lectures me on how I could be using my gear better, I start to understand why Marco calls him a good leader. He’s not letting me off easy for being so reckless, but I can tell it’s coming from a place of passion. He’s got a kind heart, that much is apparent, and was probably genuinely worried I could’ve gotten hurt. Respectable. I smile and reach up, having to stretch a little to place my hand on his head, which stops him mid-sentence._

_“Alright, I got it. Thank you,” I say with a smile as I pat his head. Maybe it’s because of the sunset, but his cheeks seem to redden and he takes a step back, shifting his eyes away from mine._

_“R-Right… no problem.” He says, scratching the back of his head and looking away. He mumbles something else, but Bertholdt grabs my attention, placing his hand on my shoulder._

_“Don’t worry Y/N, mistakes happen. You’ll get better with practice.” He smiles. “Come on, the sun is setting already. Change your canister and let’s head back.”_

_I nod and he takes off first, and Reiner hastily follows. Marco is nice enough to wait for me and helps keep me stable as I change the air canisters._

_“All set?” He asks._

_“Good to go,” I say. He smiles and nods, jumping off the branch after me, and we make our way back._

* * *

16… 17… 18… 

“Goddammit, leave some for us Mikasa!” Jean cried out. 

“You can say that again…” I grumble. 

With every twist and turn, each time I spotted a new titan dummy, someone had already snatched it. Mikasa being the worst offender. Gritting my teeth, I turn up the pressure on my gas, scanning left and right as I whiz through the forest. _...There!_ I catch the appearance of a titan dummy in my peripheral right as I pass by. Quickly unlatching myself from my previous anchor, I aim the shooting mechanism backward and turn around, pulling myself back towards the dummy. I prepared my blades for my 10th kill when a shout from above breaks my concentration. 

“Woohoo!” Sasha yells, coming down from above and sniping my titan. 

“S-Sasha!” 

“Haha, I’ve been tailing you from above Y/N!” she laughs, escaping right after cutting through the dummy’s nape. 

“You… rotten potato girl!” I shout, unlatching and having to move forward. Damn… come on, just one more. At least get to double digits. Increasing my gas pressure even more, I speed through the forest, turning quickly and precisely now after training so long with Reiner and his group. Setting my sights on another dummy a good 80 meters ahead, I make a break for it, spending my gas generously to get to it before the others get a chance. As I close in, preparing my blades once more, the sound of hissing from my turbine stops, and the gas pressure is completely gone. 

“Fuck!” I cry, letting out my frustrations as I’m forced to unlatch again and anchor onto a nearby tree to stop my fall. As I hang from the gear, Annie and Bertholdt fly by, taking my kill. 

“I thought we told you to be mindful of your gas,” Bertholdt comments as he anchors onto a tree near me. Before I can answer, we hear Instructor Shadis calling out from below.

“Alright, that’s the last training session over! I’ll announce the results later tonight, regroup at base!” 

By the time we arrive, everyone else is already there, and apparently having a heated debate. 

“Hey, that was a low blow, you guys,” Jean complains, “I spotted that target before you did.” 

“Low blow? What a half-baked thing to say, Jean,” Sasha says with a cheeky grin. “Since when d’ya need to show manners when stealin’ someone else’s prey?” 

“Hate to say it, but I agree with Jean for once,” I grin, going over and grabbing Sasha’s cheek, pinching it playfully. “You little thief, you stole mine too.”

“Argh… Y/N… ” Sasha groans, tugging at my wrist for me to let go. “All is fair when we’re huntin’ the same prey.” She pouts, rubbing her cheek after pulling my hand off. 

“She’s right you know,” a gruff voice says, and I feel a rough hand on top of my head. “I heard you used up all your gas and fell again. If that were a real titan, you should be grateful someone else was there to help kill it.”

I look up, and of course, that voice belonged to none other than Mr. Capable himself. 

“I didn’t mean to…” I mumble, sucking in and biting down on the insides of my cheeks. 

“Maybe not, but we both know you let your emotions get the better of you. Remember to stay calm and think before acting. You’ve had this problem since the first day we met,” he chuckles, ruffling my hair up. This earns a laugh from the other trainees, especially Connie, as he seems about to burst into tears. 

“Ahaha! Y/N’s being scolded by Reiner like a child!” he says, pointing at me and making the others laugh harder. Blood rushes to my face and I scrunch my nose, shaking my head to quickly rid of Reiner’s hand, and go over to Connie. 

“Puberty has given you kids an unprecedented amount of confidence, huh?” I smirk, head locking him and twisting my fist on his head playfully. “Everyone else may have gotten taller, but you’re still the perfect size for a noogie, Connie.” I laugh, continuing until he begins to apologize. It’s all in good fun though, as I soon release him, and we head back to the main training grounds.

“...8th, Conny Springer. 9th, Sasha Braus. And 10th, Christa Lenz. These are your top 10 cadets of the 104th! As for the rest of you, tomorrow you will apply for your assignments. With that, today marks the end and disbanding of the 104th Cadet Squads… over!” 

“Sir!” Our salute echoes through the training grounds, and once the instructor has left our sight, the commotion transfers from the training grounds to the mess hall. As I go to grab my tray and food for the night, I can already hear the conversations buzzing around. ‘I can’t believe we’re finally graduated!’ ‘We finally get to leave this hell of a training ground.’ ‘Which regiment do you want to go into?’ While I understand the excitement, the noise level here tonight is unbearable, and I’m reminded of how I will never have enough energy to keep up with these kids. Sighing heavily, I take a seat at an empty table when I’m joined by Mikasa at my side. 

“Is this seat taken?” 

“Oh.” I smile softly when I see her, giggling as she takes the seat beside me before I can respond. “Well, it is now. Congratulations, by the way.” 

“What for?” 

“Making top 10 of course. And first place too, that’s quite a feat.” I laugh, patting her head lightly. She smiles and says a soft ‘thank you’, which makes me smile too. She’s one of the kids around here that doesn’t drain me, which is quite a rarity, as it seems most of the people here have more energy than they know what to do with. However, she’s usually surrounded by said draining kids, which I can see are making their way over now. 

“Y/N!” Jean beams, walking over and being followed close behind by Eren. “Me too,” he says, stopping before me and leaning his head down. I arch my brow, tilting my head as I look at him. 

“You were praising Mikasa for making top 10 right? Well I was sixth, so praise me too.” He eyes my hand, and then looks at me, raising both his brows as if to urge me to do so. I raise my hand to oblige, but before I can place it on his head, Eren pushes him out of the way, shoving his own head in my hand instead. 

“Well, _I_ was fifth, which makes me better than Jean.” He smirks, and I laugh a little as I pat his head. 

“Hey!” Jean shoots a death glare in Eren’s direction, shoving him back. “You tryna’ start a fight?” 

“No, but I can end one,” Eren growls back as he steps up to Jean.

“Boys. Stop this right now,” I say sternly, “let’s not fight on our graduation day.” 

My warning goes unheard though, as the surrounding trainees begin to cheer, edging them on even further. Oh boy, here we go again. Wincing at the sudden increase in volume, I get up, covering my ears and walking out. I take a seat on the stairs, sighing as I try to get a moment of peace. The cheering from inside increases every few seconds, in which I assume one of them has landed a punch on the other. As I try to drown out the cheering, the sounds of footsteps coming closer mixes in. 

“Hey, what are you doing out here? You’re missing all the fun.” 

I look back and smile softly when I see Reiner and the others. “Oh, it’s just you.” He nods and takes a seat next to me, with Bertholdt at his other side, and Annie and Marco sitting on the steps above us.

“Too rowdy for me,” I shrug, “That's why I usually hang out with you guys. You're calmer, not as tiring to be around.” I smile, leaning back until my head hits Annie’s knees. As usual, she doesn’t react. Some may call her cold, maybe even rude, but it’s thanks to her nonchalant attitude that we could become friends. 

“Tiring? Then why do you spend so much time with them?” Reiner asks.

“Is that jealousy I hear?” I tease, earning a small laugh from Bertholdt and Marco. Reiner looks dead serious though. “It’s possible to have friends that are draining sometimes, you know. But if you must know, I care for them, quite a bit.” I sigh, leaning forward again to cup my cheeks in my hands. “I love them, as if they were my own siblings.” 

“And what about us? Are we not your siblings too then?” 

“Hm… no,” I say flatly. The reaction from the boys is priceless. Each of them looks so offended, you’d think I’d just cussed out their entire bloodlines. I check for Annie’s reaction as well, but she remains expressionless. She is staring at me now though, her head tilting ever so slightly. Marco opens his mouth to say something, but I raise my hand up, stopping him and smiling. 

“What I meant was, I don’t see you guys as my siblings, more so than I do as my friends.” I sling my arm around Reiner’s shoulders. “Don’t tell the others I said this, but regardless of age, I see you guys as more of my equals. My closest friends here.”

This time, my response is much better received. They don’t say anything, but I can tell my compliment is appreciated. I giggle, seeing a hint of red rising in Marco’s cheeks, and even catch a smile from Annie. I try to see Bertholdt’s reaction too, but Reiner clears his throat, catching my attention. 

“Hey, Y/N… we’re friends. Truly friends, right?” 

“That’s… what I just said.” I raise a brow, cocking my head as I look over at him. He looks deep in thought, staring ahead when there’s nothing there. “Were you even listening to me?” I laugh lightly, but he still doesn’t respond. 

“Y/N... “ he sighs, “when this is all over, go home with us.” 

Silence. I couldn’t quite comprehend what he was asking. Was this a confession of sorts? Looking around, I could tell the others were just as shocked, Bertholdt and Annie especially so. I guess he didn’t tell them about his feelings either. 

“Reiner-!” Annie shouts, glaring him down. They stare at each other for a moment, and if looks could kill… well, Reiner wouldn’t be staring much longer.

“I mean it,” he says, though he’s looking more at Annie now than me. “Once we’ve completed our duties as warriors… Y/N, and Marco too, you guys should go home with me, and Bertholdt and Annie. We can finally live in peace there.” 

“Reiner.” Bertholdt now says, with the same tone of seriousness as Annie. “Are you feeling alright? Our village was destroyed during the attack 5 years ago… _remember_?” 

I look back and forth between the two of them, unable to make heads or tails of this conversation. Reiner looks as if he’s seen a ghost, and Bertholdt looks at him with an intensity behind his eyes, one I’ve never noticed before. I wouldn’t call that a look of a concerned friend. It was more like a commanding officer, giving an order to a soldier. His words seem to snap Reiner out of it though, as he shakes his head and sits up. 

“Right. Sorry, I… I’m not sure what came over me, I-” he starts to explain himself, but I stop him, placing my hand on his shoulder. 

“Hey, it’s alright,” I smile softly. “I forget sometimes too. I’m sure it must’ve been even harder for you guys, being so young.” 

I patted his shoulder lightly, attempting to calm him, and he relaxes, letting his shoulders slump as he looks over. I can’t quite pinpoint how he’s feeling right now. Was that fear, confusion, maybe sadness in his eyes? There’s a good chance it’s all three. Although I said I saw them as my equals, it’s moments like these that remind me they’re still kids. 

“I think it’s sweet of you to invite us to your village. Once we retake our land and rid of all those titans that lie beyond the walls, we’ll come to visit,” I say, smiling at him. “And we can live in peace, just as you said.” 

He smiles back slightly, but there’s an apparent sadness in his eyes. Before I can get another word in, Bertholdt stands up. 

“It’s late. I think you’re tired Reiner, let’s head back before lights out. You too, Marco.” 

Reiner nods and gets up, dragging Marco along with him. 

“We’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Bertholdt gives us his usual smile, and within seconds they’re out of sight.

“Come on.” Annie gets up as well, looking back at me. I nod and follow her back to the barracks. 

As we head back, I can’t stop thinking about that look. I know it must’ve been traumatizing to have lost your village at the measly age of 12 or 13, but the way Bertholdt reacted, and how he looked at Reiner…

“Hey Annie, can I ask you something?”

“What is it?” 

“Bertholdt… do you think, he was acting a little strange?”

“How so?”

“I don’t know,” I sigh, staring up at the stars as I walk beside her. “Just… when he was checking on Reiner. Don’t you think he was a little forceful?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen Bertholdt like that. Maybe I’m just overthinking it, but his tone when he was reminding Reiner of the village, wasn’t it a little harsh? That’s not how I would comfort a friend at least…” 

“You’re overthinking it.” She sighs. “Look, he was only helping Reiner remember what happened to our village. Reiner’s got a thick skull, you know that. Sometimes we have to be a little louder to snap him back to reality.” 

She says this with her unchanging expression. And while logically, I know what I heard and saw, her explanation is starting to make sense as well. 

“And you’ve got your thing with noise too,” she adds. “You're probably just sensitive since the mess hall was so loud today. Sleep it off, you'll think clearly in the morning.”

“Oh… yeah, I guess you're right,” I sigh, running my hand through my hair. “Yeah, that's probably it. Thanks, Annie.”

She gives me a small smile and nods. We say our goodnights, and the moment my head hits the pillow, sleep overtakes me.

We left for Trost early the next morning, gathering at the district’s headquarters to gear up. Annie was right, after a good night’s rest, my mind felt a lot clearer. I looked around for them, hoping to check up on Reiner, but they were nowhere in sight. Instead, I found Jean and Eren already kicking up a fuss, as Armin tried to separate them. I decide to sneak over, coming up from behind them and lightly knocking on each of their heads. 

“Alright that’s enough, isn’t it too early for you two to be at each other’s necks already?” 

“Agh… Y/N, you’re going to kill my brain cells if you keep doing that,” Jean complained, rubbing his head. 

“So dramatic. You two are supposed to be on the same squad today, so get along,” I warned. They gave me a lazy salute in response, and I rolled my eyes. 

Another hour passes by, and Eren’s squad is sent to help the Garrison rearm the artillery at the wall. I go with Mikasa, surveying the streets of Trost. 

How long has it been since I’ve been here… a good 4 years maybe? The city has improved tenfold since then, the population much higher than I remember. It probably chalks down to being because nothing has happened since Shiganshina. The wall’s been reinforced several times since that first attack, I doubt even the Colossal Titan could take down Wall Rose with a single kick like before. 

I was naive to think that.

A loud ‘BOOM’ is heard from the far south, and all at once, the peaceful town we were just patrolling has crumbled into chaos in mere seconds. The ringing of church bells echoes the city and the cries of the townsfolk are coming from all over. As we try to calm people down, I look back and forth frantically, wondering what’s happened to have thrown everyone into such madness. My eyes land on the southern wall. 

I take a step back, getting shoved aside as some of the citizens run past me toward the inner gate of Wall Rose. Just like 5 years prior, there it was. The Colossal Titan, peering over the wall, and ready to demolish us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly a little conflicted about this chapter. It had turned out a lot shorter than I originally intended, but if I continued with my original plan it probably would've dragged out to upwards of 10k+ words 😅 Would you guys be into longer chapters? I usually try to keep them within 3-5k since I personally don't have a great attention span, but let me know. 
> 
> On another note, I just read the most recent manga chapter this weekend, and oh boy. No spoilers, but it's safe to say that writing this fic has become my escape from that haha. 
> 
> Anyways, as always, feel free to let me know what you think of this chapter or the story in general so far. I hope you guys are and will continue to enjoy it :)


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